Is your buyer's remorse actually a red flag for a bad relationship?
How not to be another notch on a business’ bedpost
Remember when a special purchase could make you feel deliriously happy and rewarded? It was usually after some careful consideration and a longing for a specific product or service you had planned, saved for or aspired to.
Today, research has found that more people are feeling regretful and despondent after impulsive online actions than ever before, inflamed by an acute awareness of the environmental implications and unethical production realities of over-consumption. It’s a conflict that has become all too real and doesn’t have the same buzz it used to.
With discomfort comes self-reflection. Are you too picky? Are you ungrateful? Are your expectations too high? Is there something wrong with you?
When the promise of the purchase falls short, concern over self-control creeps in for many of us.
Sound familiar?
Before you start beating yourself up, ask yourself this one question: if buying a product was a romantic interaction, would you respond differently?
Are brands your worst romantic nightmare?
Online engagement has taken glossy promotion to another level, with seductive imagery and big promises that quite literally follow you around. In any real-life situation, these behaviours would be considered a little Baby Raindeer-esque or, frankly, quite scary.
“While we are finding ways to overcome self-sabotage in our romantic lives, we ignore the red flags of being treated badly as a consumer. ”
Is it time to stop the cycle of buyers’ blame and demand more from your brand relationships?
When you know, you know!
At first it might sound like a stretch, but when you really stop to think about it, you can’t unsee the fact that, in today’s digital age, the dynamics between brands and consumers are almost identical to those of romantic relationships - with all the drama, miscommunication, and heartbreak that comes with the territory.
But what happens when brands fail to nurture the hard-earned relationships properly?
Just as in romance, poor "relationship skills" in brand-consumer interactions can lead to disengagement and, ultimately, a breakup. And in many instances, there are times when the breakup is not your fault.
There are, however, big red flags in brand behaviours that can help you see through the façade and gain more agency when making impulsive buying decisions.
🚩🚩 Here are a few to consider.
Ghosting: The Silent Treatment That Leaves You Wanting More
Ghosting occurs when one party cuts off all communication without warning, and guess what - this behaviour is not confined to your conversations on Tinder.
In the consumer world, you’re deemed ‘not of value’ anymore by a brand and all attempts at contact are stonewalled. It feels like you’ve given a part of yourself (your money) and now you cease to exist.
I recently bought airline tickets for 6 passengers (yay for post-covid normality) and realised I booked the tickets for the wrong date in error. I immediately called the airline to rectify the mistake and, while they were happy to take my cash, they were completely uncontactable to help me rectify the problem. I carried a lot of self-guilt for “being so stupid” and choosing the wrong dates… and then I got it:
Airlines, you need to do better!
In this situation, it was not all me and things happen in all relationships in which we need to have a meaningful way to work through problems.
Enter the frustration of AI-Bot-driven help desks.
Breadcrumbing: The Art of Keeping You Interested
Ever been in a flaky romantic relationship? Breadcrumbing is when a brand sends out just enough communication to keep you interested without offering substantial value.
You may not have interacted with the brand for months or years, but that doesn’t stop the occasional discount code or infrequent, non-committal update from turning up in your inbox with the hint of future benefit - then disappearing again.
Over time, these attempts to keep you warm start appearing like spam and lead to frustration and, ultimately, decreased brand loyalty.
Go to your email inbox and search the word ‘unsubscribe’. There’s likely to be a whole lot of emails you could comfortably unsubscribe from. Reason? You got it, breadcrumbing!
Benched: Nobody puts Baby in the corner
Feeling benched is all too common in both personal and consumer relationships. This happens when a brand only engages with consumers during certain times—think holiday sales or special promotions.
The translation is that they are only there for you when it suits them. When you have that niggly feeling that you are just another sales statistic, there is a good chance that you are being benched.
The flipside to being benched is that it can backfire on brands. When giving customers attention during big promos only, think Black Friday Sales, they are actually training consumers to hold off buying until that day.
Brands, you are on notice.
Cuffing: The Season of Clandestine Loyalties
The concept of cuffing typically refers to committing to a relationship as the colder months approach. In marketing, this can mean locking down consumer loyalty through time-limited offers, seasonal subscriptions or dark design patterns.
While this can be effective in the short term, it is nothing short of manipulation and once the "season" ends and the special treatment fades, all those special feelings you felt for a brand can shift to ones of annoyance.
The worst offenders in this category are the brands that adopt “dark design” patterns: for example, platforms that pre-select add-ons like extra insurance or customer care fees, and count on you to notice and opt-out; or the brands that get you to sign-on to an offer that covertly increases in price after a few months.
It is never a great idea to make customers feel like a fool, and if you are being cuffed - put those brands on notice!
Defining The Relationship: What Are We Really Doing Here?
Consumers often reach a point where they need to Define The Relationship (DTR). This might occur when questioning the actual benefits of a loyalty program or the real value of continued engagement. Without clear benefits or acknowledgment of their loyalty, consumers may decide it's time to move on, seeking another brand partner that appreciates their commitment and offers tangible rewards.
Memberships to associations are prime suspects in this category. Many have got by on historical loyalties, but with increased options for all consumers in all categories, brands need to step up and articulate their value.
It’s quite OK to question where you stand the next time your association fees are due.
Situationships: The Casual Connects
A situationship describes a scenario where interactions are frequent but commitments are fuzzy—common in modern dating and increasingly so in brand behaviours. Brands that fail to establish a clear identity or value proposition may find themselves in casual purchase patterns with consumers who have little brand loyalty, leading to unstable sales and engagement metrics, and, you guessed it, a short-lived consumer satisfaction.
The old adage “if you stand for everything, you stand for nothing” applies here and I see this so often with brands that compete on price or features, such as tech startups.
You don’t owe a brand your loyalty just because they were convenient every now and then.
Love Bombing: Overwhelmed by Affections
Brands that love bomb consumers shower them with attention and offers right from the outset. Initially, this can seem charming and enticing, however, that feeling can very quickly turn to overwhelm and leave you feeling sceptical rather than loved.
Here’s looking at you Temu. Yes, I left that $1.99 cheese grater in the shopping cart. And no, your 112th email reminding me of that is unlikely to get me to complete the purchase. Or buy from you ever.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable with over-attention, you should be – that’s what these brand tactics want to do.
Catfishing: When Appearances Deceive
Catfishing, like in dating, is extremely prevalent, particularly in the digital world.
Catfishing occurs when a brand's marketing over-promises and under-delivers.
And this behaviour is not only restricted to “dupes” or to eye-wateringly cheap stuff from China.
Catfishing is perpetuated by brands in many industries, you just have to think of times when a product or service did not live up to the hype.
Catfishing can also occur behind decadent packaging - who doesn’t love an unboxing? However, strip back the charismatic way the product enters your world and what is left?
That disappointment and self-blame that you feel is not your fault. You have simply been catfished.
Taking Back Control - It’s not you, it’s them!
The first step in taking back your power and control in a brand relationship is awareness.
Like a romantic relationship, when the veil is lifted, it becomes much easier to stop engaging in one-sided relationships - it is not your fault that brands often prioritise immediate transactions over sustainable relationships, although it shouldn’t be encouraged.
Sometimes, the excitement of the chase is just not worth it.
Recognising these patterns can empower you to demand more from the brands and businesses you support – and it's time for brands to step up and foster genuine connections rather than the superficial.
Our world depends on it.
Have you been treated badly? Felt the red flags, and thought it was your fault? Or even worse… are you inadvertently doing this to your potential customers? Don’t stress - give RAMMP Web Dude a whirl and make the changes you need to be a better Brand Lover 💝